procrastina-shiaaauwn

Wow, I’ve been to the Student Services Center to hand in my Vorziehungsantrag and no one has bitten me (yet). Recently a whole new world of student services has opened up to me. Of course I always knew that they existed, I just felt that they didn’t apply to me (as in: being laughed at because I don’t belong here) and kindly ignored them. Now I’m all like “had I known about this earlier! Nothing’s that complicated after all and I would’ve saved myself a lot of confusion and time”, but oh well, too late now and no use crying over spilled mylk. I feel so proactive, yet everything I got my hands on atm is very last moment – finally getting it done, not really having a head-start. Being dependent on deadlines is something I would very much like to change about myself. It seems that I’m unable to work on anything without a dangerously close looming deadline, e.g. the paper I’m working on right now (in the finishing stretches; it is due today), above situations regarding my degree and the shit-load of exams/papers I want/need to complete in the coming weeks.

Until the beginning of my fifth semester I have felt like an impostor at university. I would not use the Großer Lesesaal (great reading room) because it meant getting a locker key (the librarians could laugh at me for such a silly notion – you, a locker key! but you don’t even belong here!), and I would only use the small reading room for breaks inbetween class when it was too cold to sit out in the courtyard. The same applies to the German department’s library … I’m not exactly sure why my mindset changed, I think it had something to do with residential treatment in Bad Aussee (social skills, yo!) and also with grammar class, where I was for the first time singled out and recognised by the lecturer as apparently having a great mind, in turn helping me justify my being here at uni and feeling more a part of the academical community. Thinking about it, I have come a long way in the past three years (and not only in uni matters, but it shows the most there, I think). Hurray for progress!

hdfbvuiweuigijfdhjaioewnjvjfhjsbjdsivöujfsj

I secretly love dentist’s appointments because the tram ride there is such a scenic one, especially when the sun is out like it was today. Spring couuuuuuuuld hurry up a little, I’m sick of being cold. Anyway, I like my dentist, he’s always so cheerful. With a cheerful “Out, out, out!” he broke the news to me that my lower wisdom teeth need to be pulled because their queer position is going to only cause more trouble like I came in for today in the future. It looks really cool on x-ray.
According to him it is not going to hurt, which I believe to be a blatant lie. This is bad news, but at least he’s always playing The Beatles in the background, so chances are that I get to listen to great music while I’m dying in his chair under his care there? (it rhymes so well, I had to put it like this). Like today I was floating in all those cherished memories The Beatles bring (Liverpool et al. (: )

For lent I’ll be giving up everything that’s fun. Ok, not true. But no sweets and so on and so forth (if I don’t eat them, I can’t purge them, right? So more of an attempt at symptom regulation in a formal religious context which I ignore because I’m not actually religious.)

the good thing

about the Cats VHS and most likely the reason why I love this musical so much is that boring scenes can be fast-forwarded (; Although I told my cousin on Friday that I have had enough Cats to last me for the next ten years I do feel like watching the VHS again for comparison. Anyway, the dancers were amazing. I love to watch ballett, jazz, and modern dance, it is so fascinatingly beautiful how human bodies become fluid art.

Sadly I’m too clumsy and uncoordinated to dance myself. (Not that I would be able to achieve even a semi-professional level. And yes, I’ve tried moving my body in an oddly elegant half-coordinated way before … does a Jazz Dance class at USI count as trying? I’d say so.)

meow

I am going to see Cats tonight :D Only my most favourite musical of all times …(next to Starlight Express which, oddly enough, I haven’t ever actually watched, only just listened to the CD since childhood) I got the ticket as a Christmas present and was supposed to see it in April, but – long story involving aunts and cousins and skis and Glob knows what – I am going tonight (:  Sadly, though, it is in German, of course, a fact that I hate and which has brought forth a lot of tears and my worst Christmas ever when 7 or 8 year old me wished for the CD for Christmas and got the super duper double special edition … in GERMAN, when I wanted the boring old ENGLISH one. What a disappointment and utter catastrophe then. Mostly though I was crying because my parents had wasted so much (back then I assumed that CDs cost a fortune) money on me and I could not enjoy their present at all. I think I have never even listened to the CD, or perhaps once to try and rid me from the immense guilt I was experiencing.
A few days later my grandmother (the nice one) gave me Cats on VHS as a present (: The ENGLISH one :D I still have it, although I’m fairly sure our VHS is either broken or has been thrown out already, meh.

Anyway, this is my Cats story and I’m excited for tonight.

hey i guess i’m bored and don’t want to sleep yet

On July 12th the newest novel by Jasper Fforde is going to be published EEK!! (preordered  as soon as I noticed, of course (: ) Write faster, man, I need more Nursery Crimes and Shades of Grey in my life!

And may I say how much of a love/hate relationship I have with Amazon Marketplace? Love the cheap books, but hate that Austrian customers are automatically redirected to Amazon Germany (why have an extra .at-handle when one is being redirected anyway?)  and, despite being logged in, all books on Marketplace are shown, including those that do not ship to Austria, a totally unimportant fact which is only revealed in one of the last steps in checkout … it’s tedious and annoying, gah.

While browing, I stumbled upon this book -

I used to have that! I don’t think my mom ever read it to my sister, though? (I used to have anger issues as a child (; Or perhaps I just reflected my father’s behaviour until I learned to internalise anger/aggression and let it out on myself, mostly because he was/is stronger, both physically and in the power he then held?) We also used to have this book (which could be interpreted as empowerment of Child Anna? In an analytical mood today, are we?):

I bet they’re still around somewhere, or maybe we have given them to my aunt/little cousins and they’re in their basement or attic? Sometimes it pays to have the most common name in the world … (I love my name despite it’s popularity. From now on, though, please call me either Áine (Irish), Anniina (Finnish), Anu (Finnish, Estonian), Anouk (Dutch, French), or Anikó (Hungarian). These are the prettiest ones from Wikipedia’s list of variations on the name Anna (; – being bored at 1am on a Saturday night, what can I say? To those whom it concerns: Ans is Dutch (: (name reserved for special use only))

Okay, what I really meant to write about: pretty mixed day today. Woke up wanting to shoot absolutely anyone and everyone (I don’t know where that rush of hatred came from at 7am…I simply woke up with the desire to pull the trigger on a machine gun. Not so pleasant feeling. (Especially when having no access to shotgun, hehe.)) Next: fall-out, talk-out, cry-out, talk-out, talk-out … we managed to talk it out, I’m so impressed. An okay-goodish afternoon (I love public transport in Vienna. I do I do I do.) and an exceptional evening :D Now a so-so night, leaning towards the negative … but fueled from the late afternoon/evening, so overall not that bad.